Day 35/5. Non-Gluten Grains. Not so Great

Sunday afternoon. Hubs took Lamb to do a little grocery shopping and give me some time to myself. Thank you.

Today is day 35. Yesterday I reintroduced non-gluten grains. I think I’m having some negative reaction from it, but I can’t tell for sure. It was kind of tough figuring out what to have: I was considering oatmeal (oats do not contain gluten but are often processed on the same equipment as wheat products, so make sure to find oats that are certified gluten-free! Bob’s Redmill is what I get), I love oats and ate them every morning while I was pregnant and then at least 3 times a week since then. But I like them made with milk – so that was out. I settled on adding a rice cake to my  usual weekend breakfast of eggs and bacon. No immediate reaction. For lunch we had chipotle! Wouldn’t you know it, they were out of Carnitas, the only meat not cooked in rice bran oil, so lucky I hadn’t tried to eat there while I was being strictly compliant! I had a steak bowl with veggies, white rice, lettuce, steak, tomato salsa and guac on the side. I also realized that the chips are corn chips, so I had a couple of Hub’s. It was delicious! I LOVE rice. Love, love, love. I remember when I first got to college and ate at the cafeteria, I would have heaps of rice for every meal. Just rice. Yum! So yesterday’s lunch was nice. But by the mid-afternoon my tummy started to hurt a little. I felt bloated and gassy and experienced the pain associated with that, but there was also a distinct pain which I hadn’t felt for the past month. Not much to do about it though 😦 Dinner was kilbasi from a local restaurant: Smoke House. I had trouble with sides because no one seemed to know what everything was cooked in. Asking for items that don’t contain dairy doesn’t seem to rule out things cooked in butter. I guess people don’t think of butter as dairy… Anyway, I took the safe route and had a side of rice and steamed snap peas (of which I ate very few. I do not enjoy peas, especially steamed).

This morning I awoke with a dry feeling in the back of my throat. The only thing I can equate it to is how my throat would feel back when I smoked, and would over-do it some nights. It’s a feeling that elicits a deep, rattling, painful cough. Anyway, it wasn’t pleasant. No idea if it was from the grains or what.

Today (and tomorrow) has been back to strict Whole30. My tummy is still bloated and uncomfortable, although my “bathroom efforts” do not seem to register any difference. Sorry. How do you say that without using yucky words? Hopefully you understand what I’m referring to – if not, that’s ok, let’s just move along. More noticeably though, I developed a rather intense headache around mid day. It stayed in my temples and pulsed and pulsed until I had to take some exedrin tension (tylenol + caffeine). It started before lunch and I hoped food would help, but it did not. I haven’t had a real headache since detoxing from sugar at the beginning of my Whole30. I used to get them somewhat frequently, and after almost a month of none, this one was certainly unwelcome. I feel like I should like drink water for the next 24 hours to de-bloat my body. Ugh. I wonder if this is how I’ll feel from rice always? Maybe it was a combo of the corn and rice? Anyhow, I hope I’m back to normal tomorrow; if not I may wait a few days longer before reintroducing the next food group.

Wish my gut luck!

Day33/3. Reintroduction of Dairy, Reflection.

It’s Friday night, and I’m on day 3 of the reintroduction period. The idea of this period is taking your time to reintroduce each of the food groups forbidden on the Whole30, in a methodical and measured way. Instead of plunging into the deep end and stuffing your face with ice cream and pancakes with maple syrup and coffee with hazelnut creamer (yum 🙂 ), you introduce 1 food group over the course of a day, and then go back to strict Whole30 for 2 more days. This gives you the opportunity to really identify if and how your body reacts to the food.

As I MAY have mentioned in the last month, I’ve REALLY missed my dairy. After I got over the sugar/carb withdrawals, the hole that was left in my diet seemed to be dairy. When I was planning my reintroduction, it wasn’t even a question what I would start with. I was worried though, if I reacted negatively.

If my body rejects grains and/or gluten, I’ll be sad that I can’t have cake and pasta and bread… for like 10 seconds. Whatever. They make me fat. I can’t control my intake. But dairy? No way!

Wednesday morning:

Yogurt: only a tiny bit – I got a little of my daughter’s yogurt on my finger as I was preparing it for her. You might recall, when I first started I got some dairy in my mouth  few times – pure habit and muscle memory – as the yogurt spills or the milk sippy overflows, what do you do? You lick/slurp it up! It took me a good week to stop doing it. I spat and rinsed each time, silliness. So I took a little joy in finally just licking the yogurt off my finger instead of sterilizing!

The planned part: I put half&half in my coffee. We get our dairy, eggs and bacon from a local farm. It’s good. But my coffee wasn’t as good as I expected. I was surprised The cream actually enhanced the flavor of the coffee. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it didn’t make me swoon either.

At lunch I had eggs and sweet potato hash, and I sprinkled a bit of asiago cheese between the two. This was an application that I won’t repeat. I could barely taste it – why spend the calories when you can’t taste them!

For dinner we had a frittata, and I sprinkled a bit of asiago and parmesan over it before putting it in the oven. Totally delicious: it melted and browned a little, and also served to keep the frittata together so Lamb could eat bites off of her fork.

Overall I think I reacted pretty well. In the morning I had a rumbly tummy, but it didn’t develop into anything. I didn’t notice any bloat or tummy upset. I did avoid straight milk though, pre-Whole30 I’ve noticed tummy troubles when I drink a straight glass of milk. Makes me kind of sad because I love milk, but I’d rather not drink my calories anymore.

I avoided ice cream because it’s full of sugar, and the reaction I would expect would be more from the sugar than the dairy – I’m going to wait to fight my sugar dragon until I am closer to the end of my weight-loss journey.

Yesterday and today I’ve been back to strict Whole30. It wasn’t hard to go back to it. I didn’t miss the cream in my coffee, or the cheese with my eggs. So maybe I didn’t miss dairy that much? No definitive difference in my digestion or general feeling. That would lead me to believe that dairy is A-OK. I know Hubs will be excited to have quesadilla again soon!

Tomorrow I move on to the next food, I think I will do non-gluten grains. I was excited to have oatmeal in the morning – but I always make it with milk, I don’t like it made with water. So now I’m stymied. Maybe I’ll do legumes instead. I have read that it is recommended to take one kind of grain, or legume or whatever, at a time. Your body may react differently to corn than it might to say, rice. I will isolate by meal.

—

For anyone who is curious, I lost about 6 pounds. I was secretly hoping for a lot more. I know, I know, but I can’t help it. The good news is that the “reset” seems to have worked. Im not obsessed with carbs and sugar anymore. I still struggle with getting fixated on a certain food and then overdoing it. But I have identified the issue, which is 90% of the battle.

I discovered something called Monkey Salad. It is basically what you might imagine a monkey would eat. Typically it starts with banana, nuts or nut butter and coconut chips. I usually add berries and maybe some apple. It’s sooo good. It’s sooooooo good. I started having a bowl for a snack every day. It wasn’t about being hungry. It was about looking forward to 4pm so I could have my monkey salad. And then one day I had a bowl at 4pm, and then 2 more after dinner. Um, yeah. You read that right. I had to take almond butter off the shopping list. I went through a jar in 3 days. I was replacing my bad foods with healthy foods, but it didn’t change the fact that I was replicating my bad behavior. So I put a stop to it. And I think coming to that realization is more important than losing a couple more pounds on this journey.

I think that this is the perfect diet reset for me. On every weight-loss diet I’ve done, there comes a point when I’m sick and tired of it. Tired of drinking a shake for breakfast, or eating frozen dinners or having teeny tiny portions. And I long for the day that I can resume my “regular diet”. But with the Whole30, it is an honest to goodness mind reset. I don’t yearn for the days of feeling bad because of what I’ve eaten. I feel good now. I want to continue to feel good. I like knowing what I’m eating, knowing what is fueling my body. I like being in control and not having food control me. I won’t eat Whole30 forever, but it isn’t meant to be a forever kind of thing. I will continue to eat mostly paleo though, with whatever additions I deem acceptable for MY body.

Thanks for joining me on this journey!

 

Day 29. I’m Still Here!

Ugh.

I’m embarrassed.

The last time I posted was 2 weeks ago, on Day 14.

Settling the house has really taken more of a toll on me than I’ve acknowledged. It seems like my every day is spent thinking about furniture we need or projects that want finishing (or starting) or being aggravated by the fact that I STILL don’t have a place to put my keys.

Plus, the newness of the Whole30 wore off – I guess it happened somewhere around day 12. I’ve continued to eat much of the same things, and I kept forgetting to take photos of meals so I felt underprepared to blog about them.

Anyway.

Good news? I’m still going strong!! I found a Facebook group for support – well actually I think of it as more of a resource. Members share recipes which is useful, and provide direct links  from the Whole9 to questions I often find in common with other members. As far as support? They’re a little unyielding. I know the Whole30 is very strict with its rules, but “support” in my mind is supposed to be supportive, not critical and “holier-than-thou”. So, I’ve not opened up to anyone on a personal level, like I have with other groups I’m a part of, but I have found it useful.

So. Today is Day 29. Tomorrow is the last day. And then Wednesday I start reintroduction. I am SUPER excited about getting some diary back into my life.

My parents came to visit for the weekend. We’ve established a little tradition: I take them to this yummy restaurant on the night of their arrival. It is a small plates place with great wine and an even greater atmosphere. When Lamb gets older and we find a suitable sitter, Hubs will join us… probably. Anyway, I was seriously considering sending them with him, and avoiding the restaurant completely. I had not eaten out for the entire Whole30, and was not relishing the experience. 1st – having eaten there many times before, I knew there was nothing compliant on their menu except nuts and olives. 2nd – my parents would be drinking, and likely partaking in dessert. So basically I’d be sitting there, drinking water and sucking on olives, drooling over their delicious food and wine. I was pretty much set on staying home, but then I decided to just do it. Make it a practice in self-control. I had eaten a nice big bowl of monkey salad (omfg, so good) so my belly was ready for a light dinner.

Things did not start out well. We arrived and the place was packed. They do NOT take reservations… Usually we get there early enough to avoid the rush, but not this time. So we wait. We wait for an hour. Standing in the entrance for a damned hour. Graaahhh.

When we finally seated, we quickly cheered (and warmed) up, and when our waitress told us about the Baramundi special, I got excited! Fish, fried in olive oil, over a bed of pureed butternut squash. As far as I could tell it was entirely compliant! And, it was delicious 🙂 I enjoyed that, along with the nuts and olives, and coffee! My parents had entirely non-compliant meals: they shared a flatbread, and enjoyed 2 desserts as well as lots of wine. And, much to my surprise, it was as entirely enjoyable experience for me. My dear, sweet, papa kept offering me bites of things I couldn’t have. I don’t think Whole30 is something his brain can conceive of. hehe.

The flatbread looked good. The desserts looked good. I would have enjoyed them I’m sure. But I didn’t pine or drool or pout. The desire to inhale bread-y and sugary things just wasn’t there. I was amazed, and somewhat giddy with pleasure. It was the first time I have ever gone to a restaurant (as an adult), and not had a big, carb-heavy meal. I get a weird kind of panicky feeling when I think I might not have enough food, or I might regret my selection. So I never eat the fish over butternut squash puree. But with the rules of the Whole30, my own limitations are overruled and I am free to try new things, and eat out without feeling horrible afterwards. I wasn’t bloated or disappointed with myself, it was such a wonderful experience!

I feel like this experience, the Whole30, has really freed me from a great deal of self-imposed restrictions. I realize that’s a funny thing to hear, it makes me laugh just reading it back to myself. This EXTREMELY restrictive diet has actually expanded my diet infinitely. My NEED for certain things in my day actually caused me to not try other things. And now that I “can’t” have sugar, dairy, legumes, or grains, I am “forced” to eat fruit and veggies and meat and eggs and avocado and nuts and fish and sweet potatoes. Wow. I’m impressed!

See ya’ll tomorrow!

 

Day 14. Two Weeks Down!

9:42

We meal-planned yesterday and shopped today. Food is getting easier. I’ve found a treasure trove of Whole30 compliant recipes at The Clothes Make The Girl. I haven’t really dug into her site yet, but a lot of the recipes I find on Pinterest lead back to her blog; mayo recipe is hers, and she has a lot of other delicious looking/sounding sauces. I can’t wait to try some of the recipes I’ve “pinned”: Gyoza Meatballs… Doesn’t that sound delicious?! Anyhow, I’ve got a couple new recipes and a couple of standbys in this week’s menu, I’m looking forward to it. And I love the idea of filling my fridge with delicious, homemade sauces. We can continue to prepare proteins simply and smother them in Hollandaise and whatever else. Yum!

For breakfast I polished off the last of my pork sausage meatloaf. In retrospect I probably shouldn’t have kept it for 2 weeks… But my immune system hasn’t failed me yet 😉 Bacon as well, and 3 fried eggs. I did better with the mold this morning than yesterday; managed to get runny yolks, yum! Picture didn’t happen because the breakfast was pretty disjointed; never were 2 things on the plate at one time.

Lunch was good, if a bit small. Chicken breast with some beans and blueberries.

 Dinner was quite good. I fried up little pieces of chicken in the leftover pork fat (made some sausages, tell you about it tomorrow), added some beans at the end and plated it with some berries and coconut aminos. Boy was that good!

 I got some almond milk at Whole Foods, hoping to add a little somethin’ somethin’ to my coffee… And, it was BLECH. That is all.

 

Day 13.

9:59

I’ve been exceptionally moody today. It started when Hubs came home from a couple errands. He got blueberries and a grapefruit, oh, and a 3 Musketeer’s bar. Yeah. He meant to take that sucker out and leave it in his car I guess, but forgot. And maybe it’s not fair of me to be so upset at a mistake, but I couldn’t help but interpret it as thoughtlessness. It really ticked me off. And then he did a couple more things that by themselves would not have upset me, but I was already on that trajectory because of the candy bar, so everything else just drove me further into it. I don’t even like or eat candy bars. I mean sure, I don’t think they’re yucky or anything, but I’m much rather have some fruit covered in dark chocolate or a big bowl of pasta any day. It was the principle of the thing. Ugh. I know I totally over-reacted. I need to take a chill pill.

Breakfast was so-so. I used one of those silicon molds to make eggs; everyone wanted eggs and I didn’t want to try and deal with 4 loose eggs in one pan. I ended up overcooking them and the yoke was pretty much hard-cooked. Lamb enjoyed that but she was the only one. Bacon was also “eh”, we ran out of paper towels yesterday and didn’t get a chance to replace them (it’s my long-term goal to eradicate use of paper towels in my kitchen and house. But they’re really necessary when it comes to good bacon. Yes, I’ve tried baking on a rack; it’s still greasy and needs to be blotted.). I tried a trick I’ve seen online: cutting up old paper grocery bags. Some of the grease was absorbed but not enough; the fat un-crisped and was flaccid and gummy. Yeck.

Lunch was good: burger, mayo, avocado and tomato. I logged my lunch into MyFitnessPal, I was curious… I need to cut back on the fats in each meal a little bit. The avocado AND mayo is a little bit over-kill, and really loads on the calories. Yes, I’m doing this particular challenge because I want to redefine my relationship with food, but I haven’t forgotten that I have nearly 50 pounds to lose. So there’s that.

Dinner was yummy as well, forgot a photo though. Chicken breast fried up in coconut oil with a spice-crust. And I tossed some pre-cooked broccoli into the chicken pan with a dash of coconut aminos. That stuff is good! It’s like soy-sauce but less salty and more “umami-y”. You can find it in the international isle at Whole Foods, near the soy sauce. Lamb is now eating dinner with us more often than not. It makes me so happy that we’ve gotten to a point where we eat food that I feel comfortable feeding my toddler. When we ate takeout every night, I would talk with Hubs about how we needed to start cooking more so that Lamb could start eating dinner with us. But we didn’t have a plan for how we would actually DO that. Without the Whole30 I don’t know if we would have ever started!

Oh, in case you were wondering, Hubs and I made up 🙂

Day 12. Getting Better

9:14

Today was, dare I say, good? I made a decision to turn the TV off this morning, which kept my butt off the couch. I kept busy, and as a result I didn’t get bored and overeat, or get grouchy or irritable. I forgot to take a photo; breakfast was a slice of meatloaf (it’s almost gone L) and 2 fried eggs, along with the usual grapefruit and black coffee. I didn’t snack this morning, I probably should have but I didn’t feel like eating vegetables…

Lunch was delicious! I heated up a hamburger, and added a handful of pre-cooked broccoli to the pan as the hamburger was finishing, so it got warm and a little flavor as well. I sliced up a tomato and an avocado, and put a big dollop of mayo on the burger. Yummy!

 

Afternoon snack: forgot a picture again, but I had almond butter, bacon and blueberries. Dinner, which we just finished, was delicious again! Hubs fried up chicken breasts in coconut oil, with just a little cayenne and chili powder rubbed in. I mashed up an avocado with some lime juice and spooned that over the chicken. And tossed some pre-cooked green beans into the chicken pan, getting some heat and flavor on them. And, Hubs made some bacon! Yum!

 

I’m not sure if I really felt different today, on a fundamental level, than I did yesterday. I think my ‘tude had a lot to do with my choice to be more active this morning. Yes, I did watch some TV today, but I watched what I wanted to watch and then turned it off, instead of searching for things to watch because I didn’t want to get up.

 

Until tomorrow!

Day 11. Continuing Exhaustion

4:29

Today suuuuuucks.

I’m irritable, exhausted, unmotivated to do anything except sit around and watch television. I started out well, had my blueberry tortilla for breakfast; I’m trying to figure out how to make it without flipping. I tried putting a lid on it for the last bit of cooking, but it wasn’t long enough and I still had to flip it. But it was much prettier for being more set. But after the morning hustle was done I settled into a funk. And with that of course comes cravings. I’ve eaten too much today already: 2 avocados, 2 pouches of almond butter, 4 slices of bacon, and no veggies to speak of. Oh, and I found a bag of organic coconut chips (no sugar added!) and had a couple of those. No lunch, just noshing. I know it’s bad, but I take solace in the knowledge that at least I’m sticking with plan. I do need to get my butt in gear tomorrow though.

 

Dinner was better. I had some more bacon, blueberries, almond butter and green beans.

All I got for you today!

Day 10. Slightly Better than Yesterday

9:28

Watching Faulty Towers with Hubs, exhausted but happy because today was a good day. Started off with meatloaf and 2 fried eggs, and grapefruit and coffee of course. Forgot a picture, but you know what that looks like by now 😉 First snack was blueberries, shredded carrots, and green beans. Lunch was a delicious burger (cooked ahead by Hubs the other night, so I only had to warm it up) with onions and tomato. Afternoon snack was bacon, blueberries, and almond butter. And dinner was fish with roasted cauliflower puree and green beans. I am quite happy with today, I got back on track as far as my food, and I also wasn’t as laid-out as I’ve been for the past few days.

   

I had more bacon today, mostly because I’ve gotten a taste for it and I wanted it. But I had a smaller portion and only one – so that’s definitely an improvement from yesterday!

I haven’t got much else to say, so I’ll sign off for the night. Until tomorrow!

Days 8 & 9. Sooooo Tired

I’m still here! I haven’t given up! I didn’t cheat or quit!

Gosh, it’s hard though, to remember back even 2 days to how I was feeling on Monday. It was a holiday so Hubs was home which was nice. We went to a shopping district in our town to look at a couple of options for furniture for our bedroom, and ended up getting night stands and a lingerie chest, and leaving with some ideas for the bigger pieces we need. Unfortunately the turn-around time is 12 weeks, but I guess there’s not much to do about that!

Food for Monday (day8) was good. We had yummy burgers again for dinner. A nice big dollop of my homemade mayo on the burger, with some fresh onion and tomato slices – mmm, mmm, mmm. It’s tough to not have it EVERY night – but I know variety is the key to success in this game.

   

Day 9, yesterday, was horrible. I woke up completely exhausted. I was tired, but I was also physically drained. I felt the same way I felt the evening after the movers left – the day that I had gone up the down and the stairs 56 times took over 13,000 steps (FitBit doesn’t lie). But I felt this way UPON WAKING; I hadn’t done a darn thing yet. I had actually gotten a really good night’s sleep. I slept-walked through breakfast; the knowledge that I had to be “mom” all day – to change (upstairs) and feed (downstairs) and nap (upstairs) Lamb, keep her entertained, keep her out of trouble; it was enough to make me collapse into my chair and weep. I managed to get a healthy start to the day. Despite my exhaustion, I had my blueberry tortilla for breakfast and I ate a proper lunch of meatloaf, tomatoes and avocado. But I ate it sprawled out in front of the TV. Lamb had a proper lunch as well, but she took it on the go – high chair was too much for me. Sitting at the table for the 40 minutes it takes her to eat sometimes was too much for me. Also, I ate a lot of bacon. I mean a LOT. I know bacon is kind of borderline, and I confess to not reading the articles available to me about it. But shit, I’ve given up like 80% of my normal diet, I’m eating bacon. Anyhow, yesterday, on day 9, I ate 10, yes TEN, slices of bacon. I made a batch of 5 for my morning snack, and 5 for my afternoon snack. Frankly it probably would have been more if they had fit in my pan. I also had a pint of raspberries and 2 pouches of almond butter. Oh, and I tried coconut cream/milk in my coffee. Blech. Not doing that again. So, yesterday wasn’t necessarily a “deficit day”, as in a day that is helping me lose weight, but I think it was a really important day because I felt like shit, shittier than I’ve felt so far on this journey, and I made a decision to stick with this challenge. I poured the Starbucks bottled coffee Hubs so thoughtfully put in the fridge, down the drain because it was beckoning to me each time I opened the door. I didn’t go into the kitchen and stare blankly into the refrigerator or pantry, hoping something chocolatey or salty would jump into my hands. Instead, I remained sprawled out on the couch and decided what I would prepare myself ahead of time.

By the time dinner rolled around I wasn’t hungry – but I got a whiff of grapefruit as I was cleaning up the kitchen and decided that would be nice. Hubs is painfully suggestible, so we shared a grapefruit and coffee for dinner; maybe that will make up for some of the bacon 🙂

According to the timeline on the Whole30 website, days 6/7 are the “tired” days, days 8/9 are the “why the F are my pants TIGHTER” days, and day 10/11 are the hardest days, aka the days most likely for you to quit the program. Well crap. I’m not sure if I’m behind or ahead or what. My pants (the same pair of size14 Old Navy jeans that I’ve been wearing so long the knees are starting to go fuzzy) continue to fit horribly. My headaches have subsided, which is great, but I’m worried that if yesterday wasn’t a “worst” day, will I be able to survive it when it does come? I guess we’ll find out!

  

I need to get some variety into my breakfasts. My sausage meatloaf will last a few more days, but I’m not going to make another one just yet because I don’t want to tire of it. What else can I eat for breakfast besides eggs? Pinterest, here I come!

Day 7. 1st Week: DONE!

11:12

Weekend days are easier because I’m busier. As I’ve mentioned, the busier I am the less I think about food. One of my biggest eating triggers is boredom. With Hubs home and we three keeping busy together, food has been an afterthought. So, this will be quick. Breakfast was the same as yesterday, eggs and bacon, grapefruit and black coffee. Lunch was tuna salad and avocado. And dinner was a yummy pounded chicken cutlet and a fresh salsa of tomato, avocado, onion and lime juice. Yum, yum, yummy.

  

As we were cooking dinner I thought about the fact that we had eaten 7 healthy, home cooked meals. In a row. For a couple who used to eat frozen pizzas and take-out 28 days out of the month, this is a miraculous thing! Some days were harder than others, and Hubs really did provide the motivation 70% of the time. I don’t think we could have done it though, if I hadn’t made the decision to do the Whole30. It’s given us a push in the right direction. More like a shove; which we clearly needed.

I am excited to weigh in tomorrow morning. I confess to stepping on the scale a few times this week, but each time it wasn’t in the morning. I didn’t want to get my hopes up on the off-chance that I was having a “light” morning.

Good night!